To all my friends who need a good laugh, I bring you...



(To all my fundamentalist friends, I'm sorry... why are we friends again?)

No, really, it's not that insulting. I think. You decide.

...this is only one of many others, btw.

I have a treat for everybody!



Here's Rosie and Santa!

Happy Holidays everybody!

So I've realized I'm probably not going to officially "win" this year...but I'm having a blast anyways!  I've been writing everyday and it feels great!  My goal is no longer 50K but the story itself...  I really want to write this one! 

Thanks for all the pom pom waving and generally cheering I've been getting.

(You all look great in cheerleader outfits btw, and I didn't even know you could DO some of those acrobatics!)

Love <3  <3  <3

All right!  Nanowrimo, you are so mine!!! 

Still at 1,000 words a day but this is better than I've ever done before! 

Hugs for my flist, all around!

*huggles* 

Thanks guys, for cheering me on! 

....has left me with 4,500 words. 

I'm going at about the rate of 1,000 words a day... not quite going to get me to 50,000 by the end of this month but it's a giant improvement!

And what's more is I'm having a blast writing!  This novel is something I've always wanted to get down on paper!  And now I'm actually doing it! 

*SQUEE OF HAPPINESS*

How's my flist doing???

*HUGGLES*

...3,110 words!

So basically a thousand words today. 

Okay, so yes, there were factors beyond my control, had errands to run, chores to do, etc...

But I better pick up the pace here!

*revs keyboard*

How is everyone else doing? 

*driveby hugs* 

....2,100 words. 

Okay, yes, time for some major catching up to do.  The writing sprints are fun though.  I really enjoy the camaraderie of dozens of people all fighting for the same goal: 50,000 words.  Some have gotten very far ahead, some very behind like me, but that doesn't matter while sprinting.  All that matters is the now.

And now, back to the story!

*hugs flist*

Okay so far the total is... 1,155. 

This can be viewed in two ways.  1) not good and 2) not bad

The not good is obviously because the word count should be at least 5x what it is. 

The not bad is because I really, really like what I've written so far and don't want to change anything.  

I'm not going to stress over it.  What happens happens and I've still got the rest of the month to catch up. 

And if I don't *shrugs* oh well, I gave it my best shot.  Maybe next year.

The really cool part is I've written something every day for three straight consecutive days.  That's awesome.

And of course, I must thank my cheerleaders...er...flist!  

*BIG HUGS*

P.S.  Not out of the woods yet with the sickness but doing much better.  Thank you all for your well wishes!  *more hugs*

*sigh*  I wish I had better news to report... but last night I had an asthma attack that almost sent me to the hospital.  

Don't worry, I'm fine now, but god dammit was it scary as hell!  And the worst part is I kept trying to get in touch with the doctor on call to see what I should do about it (my normal rescue inhaler wasn't working obviously) and his beeper was broken!  It took me thirty minutes of wheezing and coughing so hard I was gagging and just plain agony to get in touch with the man!  (How I wish it had been my doctor instead!)  

And now I'm trying to get in touch with my doctor and it's taking more than thirty minutes... 

*sigh* (again) 

I wish I had better news to report... I hate just leaving these horribly depressing notes around.  But thank you to everybody who reads them anyways.  It means a lot!  *hugs*

Oh, and I've started nano!  But I'm afraid I've only got 600 words so far.  Horribly behind and a rough start. 

Let's not even talk about school work and SSI forms... *bangs head on desk*

Okay, I want to thank everyone for their well wishes!  I haven't had time to respond but please know they mean so much to me!  (Keep them coming?  Please?)  

Luv ya'll!




 

...that basically translates into Happy Halloween everyone! 

Sorry I'm a day late...  *sigh*  I'm afraid I mostly slept through yesterday.  Then just spent the rest of the evening sulking in the dark.  We didn't pass out candy this year cause I'm so sick and all I'd have been passing out is germs.  We didn't even get candy this year.  So no leftovers for me either.  *pouts*

Happier news is this thing that I've caught is only bronchitis, not Swine flu.  Unfortunately my doctor couldn't give me anything for it so it'll just have to pass by in  its own time.

Happiest news is this:  HAPPY NANOWRIMO!  Today's the start!  I'm so nervous because I'm trying it this year... who else on my flist is trying it too?  

Thanks guys for sticking with me!  I could sure use some cheerleaders this month as I attempt Nano, Animal Behavioral College, my grandmother's memorial, and flying out to see my mom!  (To that last one: yay! mommy!)

Love you all!  *huggles*


 

*coughs*  I.  Am.  Sick!  *wails* 

And I'm quite emo about it. 

See, truth is I've been sick for quite a while now (and no, I'm not just talking about my disability!)...

Okay, so 1.  There is the Bipolar II, Major Depression Disorder, Panic Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, etc.
2.  My skin decided it likes little red dots all over it, a.k.a. folliculitis
3.  My gums hate me too and got lesions in two places making it very hard  to brush.
4.  Asthma, nuf said
NOW: 5. Headaches
6.  Sore throat
7.  Stuffy nose
8.  Cough
9.  Fatigue
10.  Nausea/ Dizziness

Oh look ma!  It rounded itself out! 

No, the REALLY FUNNY thing about all this comes in the number of pills, antibiotics, steriods, topical creams, oral creams that I'm on... 

...but I think I'll keep all the amusement to myself because I'm guessing you guys have had about enough.  I know I have.  

I'm going back to the doctor today, hopefully, if they let me (is there a limit you can reach on doctor's visits in on month?  Not to mention the singular number of doctors I've visited...)! 

Okay, I'm done, really.  Got that all out.  Thanks for putting up with me flist.   As always, well wishes and good vibes are appreciated!  Very much so! 

...which really isn't as exciting as it sounds I'm finding out, once the initial enthusiasm has worn off.  It is really cool, don't get me wrong, and I'm glad I have it.  But I find myself missing my old flip phone more and more...   And besides that...

Technology hates me.

That's it. 

That's the only reason I'm having so much trouble importing my contacts and synching my music (which I apparently have way too much of and it won't fit, definitely not giving that ipod up!).  I'm hesitant to even try and put my movies and shows on there. 

And don't even get me started on computer troubles lately...  Sigh, have to take it in...  What a bugger!

... so how's everybody else doing? 

*end rant*
 

... can actually be "The Happiest Place on Earth" when you're with a good friend!  And NOT in the theme parks, but outside in Downtown Disney... which is basically a giant mall, Disney style.  Now normally I hate malls and shopping and crowds but this was somehow different... although yes, we did tire out in less than 4 hours.  

But we started out at the "Rain Forest Cafe" for lunch and then went on to "Build A Bear Workshop" where we proceeded to make teddy bears (or in my case a dog) for each other to remind each other of each other.  It was really sweet.  Then I got a CARAMEL APPLE!  Score!  And he got pumpkin fudge which he said was really good (I wasn't brave enough to try it though...).  Then we went to the best store around (and of course the largest) , drumroll please... "The World of Disney"!  Where we proceeded to buy the store.  Well, he did for his wife, I couldn't even afford a T-shirt.  (Because DAMN!  Everything was so expensive!)  But when I have money I'm definitely going back because they had glass trinkets that were just beautiful and I need more trinkets!!!  (Okay, so it's the last thing I need, don't remind me.)

Anyways, it was a good day all around... my diet went to hell but who cares?  "Some days you gotta dance..." 

Love!

....and I owe it all to my flist cheering me on!  Thanks guys!

*hugs*

And I am soooooooooo tired...

Any ideas flist? 

*yawns*

Somebody (read:lemmealone ) gave me a congratulatory present for completing my test! 

You know what that means don't you?

*GLOMPS*

*GINORMOUS HUGS*  

*MESSY KISSES*

*MORE HUGS*

And now I need to go get some tissues because that's how touched I am at the gift...

So ren, if you're still alive after I've hugged and kissed the living daylights out of you.  What I'm trying to say is this:  Thank you! 

Voila!  The test is done!  Over with!  Finished! 

And I couldn't have done it without you guys...

I took a good, honest look at myself and I decided I WANT to be a dog trainer.  More than ANYTHING!  Especially a service dog trainer!

I weighed the pros and cons, listed, looked at it from every angle and though it's probably going to be the most difficult thing I'll ever have to do... it's MY life and I'm doing it!

Because I know it's worth it.

Thanks you guys, I love you all!  

*Enormous Hugs* 

It's times like this that I'm really grateful for my online family...  *sighs*

I have a problem.  A big problem.  A problem I've had since childhood as a matter of fact. 

Most of you know I have a service dog Rosie (no, she's not the problem--she's the farthest thing from it) and can therefore guess that I have disabilities.  These disabilities have crippled me throughout my life.  I'm not going to go into details but I'll give two examples: 1) I had to drop out of high school (and finish high school in independent study) and drop out of college (3 or 4 times actually) because I couldn't handle the stress.  

Stress does... bad things to me.  To say the least.  

Now I'm in a position I've never wanted to be in yet knew I was headed in the day I signed up for the course.  For those who don't know (which could be all of you, I'm not sure)  I applied and was accepted into a dog trainer's college called Animal Behavior Collage.   Can you guess what's coming next?  

I may need to drop out.  I've already asked for a sabbatical and extensions galore.  I'm out of time.  And the stress is getting to me badly... as it has since I started the program.  Only it's gotten worse.  I've gotten worse. 

I'm doing a test right now, I'm a day late in turning it in, and I haven't been able to work on it all day because I've been too stressed out about not being able to turn it in quickly!  God, is that irony or what?  

If I drop out... which I'm not saying I'm going to... but if I do... how the hell do I tell those I love?  I have friends, family, strangers even all rooting for me... saying I can do this, they know I can do this!  

How terribly cruel is life?

I can't write any more, I'm sorry.... please help!

So Rosie, my service dog, is becoming a therapy dog.  And yesterday was our first day of training. 

We visited Casa de las Campana, a Senior Center in San Diego.  We worked with another dog named Darwin and his owner.  Darwin has beed doing this since he was 7 months old.  He's now three.  

Rosie performed admirably but not as well as I hoped.  I can't help thinking some of that was my fault.  

Firstly, I took Rosie for a loooooooong walk earlier in the day to make sure she didn't have any excess energy.  Problem was once we got there she barely had any energy... oops.  

Secondly, I think she fed off my tension.  

Why was I so tense?  Well, that's the problem indeed.  It was a senior center.  And with my grandma's passing so recent I just kept flashing back to how I last saw her in that coma.  

Okay, I admit it.  I'm terrified of seniors.  I know I shouldn't be, I know they're people too, and I'm not terrified of them...  I'm terrified I won't know what to say, I'm terrified of the silences, and most of all I'm terrified of the day my parents become one of them...  and then I'll lose them too.  

But you know what?  In spite of all that fear, I'm going back.  Because there were some small miracles that day when Rosie visited.  A woman who hadn't walked for months wanted to walk with us and the dogs down the hallway.  A man who had alzheimers and hadn't interacted with anyone for awhile interacted with us and the dogs. 

That's what we do this dog therapy for.  I understand that now.  

Peace!